Outtakes: Black Friday Alice Cullen Style
by marykat
Summary: Basically a bunch of one-shots of funny stuff that I reference in the Black Friday story. Don't have to read that story to get them! Some lemons in later chapters. Cannon pairings.
1. Chapter 1

_**DISCLAIMER for entire story: my plot, SM's characters and backstory…sadly…**_

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Prologue**

This story is a series of outtakes from my Black Friday Alice Cullen Style story. Most of the chapters will be able to stand alone as one-shot Twilight fanfics, so even if you aren't reading the original story, you will probably still enjoy these. In the original story, I make reference to a lot of little incidents that have happened, most of them funny. This is where I will tell the tales of those incidents. So far, here are some of the things that I plan on covering:

Emmett takes Rosalie to Chuck E Cheese's on their anniversary (to be posted very soon)

Emmett wrecks Rose's Z3 in a dare from Jasper

Jake and Nessie lemon the night before the contest

Something that Emmett did to Jake at the zoo

Emmett's Walmart experience from the crazy TV guy's perspective

And pretty much whatever other random stories I make up that don't fit into the original one! Hope you guys like it! I'm very open to suggestions :)

MK


	2. Chuck E Cheese Anniversary

_**DISCLAIMER: my plot, SM's characters and backstory…sadly…**_

_**A/N: This is the story of Emmett taking Rosalie to Chuck E. Cheese's for their anniversary. For those of you that don't know what Chuck E. Cheese's is, I have a link on my profile. It is basically a kids entertainment place that has games and sometimes little shows and singalongs and serves really gross pizza and stuff like that. It is a downright scary place to go, even if you have kids. If you don't, it is terrifying! Enjoy!!**_

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Anniversary of my dreams – oops, my nightmares!**

**Emmett POV**

Okay, I really had to think. It was Rose and my anniversary in a few days and I really had to come through this time! Last year I forgot again, and if that wasn't bad enough, I had evidently promised her a super fabulous anniversary that year to make up for forgetting the previous year! So this year, if I didn't come through, I was so screwed; well, I guess to be accurate I was so NOT screwed. Cuz that wouldn't be happening any time in the next decade for sure.

I had put Nessie in charge of reminding me in that special way of hers. I figured that after two years of people saying "Emmett, don't forget your anniversary this time, Rose is gonna be pissed!" not working, I needed something a little stronger. So I asked Nessie to "show" me Rose's face the night of our last anniversary when she realized that I had forgotten again every month throughout the year to remind me. And then, in the month leading up to it, every morning as inspiration.

She had done just what I'd asked and more. Over the past year, she had helped me design the most beautiful necklace of white gold and diamonds; it had two hearts joined together placed on either side of the necklace and as part of an elaborate pendant hanging in the center. It was beautiful, just like my Rosie. It could never hold a candle to her, but it would complement her greatly. The two hearts joined together, along with the combination of the delicate chain and solid diamonds reminded me so much of the two of us. See, I wasn't always just a jokester! I could be deep when I wanted to!

I sighed and threw down the game controller I was holding in frustration. My mind wasn't in it and I was tired of Jasper and Jake beating me. "But a necklace is not going to be enough dammit!" I got up and walked into the kitchen, hoping to find Nessie or maybe Bella; I sat down glumly when I remembered that Alice had kidnapped all the women for one of her marathon shopping trips. Instead, the J boys followed me and offered their help.

"Woman trouble, bro?" Jake patted me on the shoulder as he walked past me for the fridge.

"You guys know that it's our anniversary on Saturday and I just don't know what to do!" Really, this was embarrassing. I felt like I was going to cry.

Jasper must have picked up on it, because suddenly I started to feel really relaxed. I just glanced at him and nodded slightly, too embarrassed to voice my appreciation.

"It's our anniversary? Darn, I should have gone shopping with the girls! I didn't get you anything Sparky baby! You'll just have to make do with a hug!" Jacob squealed in his bizarre falsetto voice as he abandoned the food he'd grabbed out of the fridge and wrapped his arms tightly around me.

"You better not call me that again, DOG! And get your arms off me before I remove them myself!" I growled at him, taking out my anger on him. Honestly, he should know better than to call me Sparky when I'm upset. Why he thinks it is funny is beyond me; something about how vampires sparkle in the sun and him not wanting to be the only dog in the family.

"Okay, man, I was just trying to lighten the mood. So, you need something special to do for your anniversary, right?" Lucky for him, Jake moved to the other side of the table and dug into the mound of food he'd gotten out mere seconds before I was going to throw him through the wall. I guess lucky for me too; Esme would NOT have been happy about that.

"Yeah, Nessie helped me get her a really great necklace, but after the last couple of years I think I need to take her out somewhere nice too. Do you guys have any ideas – I _do_ want to stay in the country though Jasper." I knew Alice; her idea of a romantic getaway was usually Paris or Thailand or somewhere else exotic like that. We only had the weekend, so I didn't want to squeeze an overseas trip in.

"Well, in that case, I'm out of ideas. You know Alice; I can never plan a surprise for her and she has exquisite taste – obviously!" Jasper gestured to himself as an example of her taste, I suppose.

"Ha Ha! She does have good taste, but I'm not so sure you're not the exception to the rule! However, she knows who the best wolf is, that's for sure!"

"Hey, you guys talking about me again? I know how much you Cullens love me, so I thought I'd come over and give you your 'Seth fix' for the day!" Seth walked in with perfect timing, stealing Jacob's joke and half the food from his plate. "So, what's new in the vamp world?"

"Ah, Emmett here is having some women problems. He is trying to figure out a nice place to take Rose for their anniversary on Saturday." Jasper looked meaningfully at Seth, and I felt calmness radiate in the room. He must have been trying to warn him to keep the jokes at a minimum after what happened with Jacob earlier. I'd have to remember to thank him later.

"Oh, so your deal with Nessie worked? That's actually why I came over, as a last ditch effort to knock some sense into you if you hadn't done anything yet. I couldn't stand the thought of seeing Rose go through that for a third year in a row!"

"Yeah, Ness helped me with a necklace, but now I'm stuck on a place. I'm hoping one of you guys might have an idea." I was really grasping at straws now; sometimes I thought Edward was the only man in our family with a romantic bone in his body. But he was refusing to help me just because of the little prank with his precious Volvo and the pink spray paint. Really, he should think about Rose and let go of his grudge with me.

"I know full well that Rose is the one who dared you to do that Emmett…that's the real reason I won't help you!" Edward yelled in from the music room; he was no fun when the girls were away, he usually just holed up in there and composed all day.

"Hey, I know of a great place that I've taken Nessie and Quil has taken Claire before. It is kind of a dinner theater place, but also with really cool games. And you don't have to eat at all, no one would ever notice because the food part isn't really that formal. The show is singing and dancing, doesn't Rose really like musical theater?" Jacob looked at me expectantly, as if I knew the answer to the question.

"Yes she does!" Ah, the peanut gallery chimes in again. "She's always asking me to play showtunes."

"Thanks Edward." Guess he's decided to give a brother a little help after all.

"Wait, are you talking about Ch-" Seth started to ask a question, but stopped all of a sudden. "Oh, you mean the other place you guys took them to. Oh yeah, Rose is totally going to love it!" I wondered briefly what he was thinking of in the beginning, but then realized I didn't care.

"So, what is this place? It sounds too good to be true; Rose loves going to fancy restaurants and stuff, but always hates having to eat the food. Is it close by? Do I need reservations?" I hoped I could still get in for Saturday. I guess I could push it until Sunday if necessary and tell her I had a whole weekend planned, but Saturday would be the best.

"Oh, I'm sure you can still get in. They don't require reservations, but you can book it for a party. The place is called 'Chuck E. Cheese's.'" Jake pronounced the name with a French accent, I took that as a good sign. I pulled a notepad and pen out of a drawer and started to write it down.

"'Shuck Aye Shayses.' How the heck do you spell that?" Stupid French language.

"Actually, they Americanized the name so it is spelled like Chuck E. Cheese's. Only those in the know pronounce it correctly. If you hear people say the name in English, they have no idea what they are talking about. They've obviously never been there." Jasper chimed in, although I had no idea he'd ever been there. "Alice and I went once with Jake and Nessie. It was really great, I had completely forgotten about it until Jake brought it up. I really should see if Alice wants to go back there sometime." Jasper answered the question that had been obvious in my face.

"Okay guys, you've sold me. I'm really nervous, so I think I'd like to do the whole book a party thing. Do I have to reserve the whole restaurant, do I need the whole thing? Maybe I should rent a limo or something classy like that?" I was starting to get excited, this was going to be our best anniversary ever!

"Dude, the limo is an awesome idea! This place is huge, so you don't need to reserve the whole thing for just you two. In fact, I still have the number in my phone, so I'll make the reservations for you right now." Jake picked up his phone and walked into the living room.

"7 PM bro, if they have it." I called out to him when I heard him talking to the restaurant in the other room. This was going to be great! A gorgeous necklace, and a fancy night out on the town for my gorgeous wife. I might just get myself out of the doghouse; heh, with the help of some dogs!

"Okay, you are all set! 7PM, party of two under Emmett Cullen. You know what would be really funny? What if you pretended to forget AGAIN, and then just showed up to the restaurant and surprised her?" Jake walked back into the kitchen, and brought with him his entry into the dumbest idea ever competition.

"Uh, what if you actually won the dumbest idea ever competition with that stupid idea? No, I don't think that would be funny to anyone but you!" Yeah, dogs...sheesh!

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SATURDAY NIGHT**

So the (normally) evil pixie had decided to help me out finally. She had evidently "seen" that my lovely bride would not be wearing the appropriate attire, so she'd bought her a new dress for the occasion. All I knew was that it had the "perfect neckline to compliment my necklace" according to Alice, so I was happy enough. Rose was changing into it right now, with Alice's help of course.

I stood down in the living room, fiddling nervously with my tie and the box holding her present. I heard Alice clear her throat and I looked up to see my wife standing at the top of the stairs looking more stunning than ever.

"Rose, baby, you look more stunning than ever! How did I ever luck out to end up with you for eternity?" See, I know how to be romantic!

She smiled down at me and then winked. I walked over to the stairs and opened my arms wide, waiting for her. Without a moment's hesitation, she leapt into the air and landed in my arms, wrapping her arms around my neck.

"If you so much as wrinkle that dress Rosalie! You know that I'll know! Fly all the way to Paris and bribe the boys at Gaultier to get an exclusive dress and she doesn't even try to take care of it! Ugh, she is getting as bad as Bella!" Alice stalked off to her room, muttering under her breath threats about the dress, but we didn't really pay much attention.

I whispered "Happy Anniversary" in my love's ear as I flipped open the box holding her necklace. I couldn't hold back my grin as I heard her gasp in delight when she looked at it. She squeezed me harder and her lips found mind, crushing with a force I wasn't expecting until later in the evening. Her tongue searched my mouth, as her legs wound their way around my waist. I returned the kiss and deepened it, pulling her tighter to me as I moved to get a better position against the wall. All thoughts of the evening out were driven from my mind as she ground her sexy body into my thigh; at least, until the honking started.

"Ugh. Um, sweetheart, I think it's time for your other surprise!" I very reluctantly pulled back from my hot ass wife and tried to prepare us for the upcoming evening. I pulled the necklace from the box and clasped it around her neck. "Damn, Alice _does_ have good taste. It looks as if this dress was made for this necklace."

"It WAS dammit! Now don't you two go and ruin it just because you can't keep your hands off of each other!" Alice called down from her room, still angry about our "reckless" behavior with her precious dress I guess. After 100 years, you'd think she'd have learned just how much Rose and I need each other, and I mean **need**. A dress that sexy will never last the night.

The honking continued and finally Rose snapped out of her daze enough to notice. "What the hell is that?" She turned and glared at the door, shooting daggers at whoever was honking.

"That's just Jake and Jasper in the limo. I'm taking my woman out in style tonight! Let's roll lady!" I grabbed her hand before she could protest about the drivers and we slid into the waiting limo. Hey, what could I do? All the local limo companies were booked solid, but Jake and Jasper had somehow managed to find someone they "persuaded" to rent them just the car for the evening. I didn't want to know the details about the persuasion, I'd probably just be mad I missed all the fun! Besides, it was a super-stretch, so Rose and I would be so far from the two of them we might as well have been in a different country.

On our way to the restaurant, we made good use of the divider between the backseat and the J-boys. I think we were parked out front for a good 10 minutes before we finally heard them knocking on the glass partition, trying to catch our attention. "C'mon guys, you are going to miss your reservation! Now, put on your blindfold!" Jake called out to us from the front seat loudly, and then put down the divider and threw the black silk eye mask at me.

"Blindfold?" Rose looked at me questioningly. I just smiled and helped her get it in place.

"I want you to be able to take in the whole ambiance of this place all at once! No peeking!" I got out of my side of the limo and walked around to open Rose's door for her, like the true gentleman that I am. Rose had barely gotten out of the door when the two chuckleheads in the front peeled out from the parking lot. I guess they wanted to make sure we had some privacy.

I was so excited to get her inside the restaurant. I don't think I've ever taken her to a French place before, except when we were in France, but that doesn't count. I barely noticed the outside of the place, except that there appeared to be a gigantic mouse featured in the sign above the entrance. Maybe it was like that movie Ratatouille? That rat sure seemed like a pretty darn good cook to me! And that place was super fancy! Sweet, Rose was going to love it here.

I walked up to the maitre d' and simply stated our name. "Cullen." He looked at me and my beautiful Rose in momentary shock, and then abruptly started to speak. Silly humans, always stunned by my awesomeness.

"Yes, Mr. Cullen, right this way. We have a special table just for you." He spoke very slowly, I wasn't sure why. He didn't have an accent, but maybe he was under the impression we were foreign. Who knows what Jake had to tell him to get us in. I better try to fake an accent just in case.

"Are ve in time for ze show?" Yikes, I had better work on my accents a little! That was a bit rusty. He didn't seem to notice.

"Yes sir. It will start in one minute. When the big hand goes around to the 12 again." He pointed to his watch. That was weird; I thought people told time the same way all over the world. Oh well, learn a new thing every day! We followed him through some tables to one that was right up next to the stage. A couple of short people ran around us as we walked; they must have a lot of small waiters here or something, or maybe they are part of the act.

"Ahem!" Rose shoved me in the ribs with her elbow. I guess she was getting a little antsy to see the place. I reached over to untie her blindfold, and glanced around for the first time to really take a look at this fine establishment.

At that exact moment, mist started spreading across the stage and music began to blare out of the speakers on either side of the stage.

_**(Workin')**_

_**At the car wash**_

_**Workin' at the car wash kids**_

_**Come on and sing it with me**_

A gigantic animatronics mouse, like the one on the sign out front, and several other strange looking humungous animals, were on stage dancing and singing a kid's version of a 70's song. Right about then, a lot of the unusual things I barely noticed as we walked through the restaurant to our table clicked into place. The strange sculpture was, in fact, a basketball hoop; what looked like an elaborate and unusually colored wine rack was actually a climbing gym combined with a shoe rack. The very short waiters were simply small children running around with abandon.

Lucky for me, my impressive (although apparently underused in this case) vampire brain was able to comprehend those facts quick enough to understand what was going on before Rose did. Unlucky for me, I was unable to get her out of there fast enough, what with the kids and the Maitre d' standing right next to us. I looked at her helplessly, pleading with her with my eyes that she restrain herself until we got outside.

"YOU! TOOK! ME! TO! CHUCK! E! FUCKING! CHEESE!" She spat out each word venomously, as though even the air here wasn't worthy of being in her presence. And that was probably true. "YOU FORGOT OUR ANNIVERSARY FOR TWO YEARS AND THIS IS HOW YOU MAKE IT UP TO ME? A CHEAP ASS CHILDREN'S HELL HOLE??" I hung my head in shame as I silently led her out of the place, ignoring the Maitre d's barrage of questions.

"Sir, is everything alright? We understand about your wife's condition, we have made the necessary accommodations. I know we normally don't allow adults to go on the children's rides, but in a situation like this, we felt we could bend the rules for you. Your wife could easily fit on the rides and in the climbing tubes; and we've adjusted some spacing bars in the bouncy hut so she won't have any problems getting in and out – we understand that is her favorite! We here at Chuck E Cheese pride ourselves in our motto 'Where a kid can be a kid!' We want you to know that applies even in your special circumstances. It isn't her fault that she has the body of a 30 year old and mind of a 6 year old. We will do whatever we can to make her birthday as special as any 6 year olds would be!"

"DID YOU JUST SAY I HAVE THE BODY OF A THIRTY YEAR OLD???" OMC, like this night could get any worse. Damn it all to hell! I had to get her out of here before someone got hurt. These poor kids in here were probably already traumatized by her dress…oh, man it is one hell of a dress. Focus Emmett! Angry wife on your hands! Never going to get to see beneath the dress now!

I turned to the Maitre d' and gave him a death glare. He seemed to get the message and backed away, shaking his head. At least I figured out the boys' plan. If I wasn't so furious with them, I'd be jealous that I hadn't come up with it! It was going to take me a long time to get revenge for this prank.

Somehow, I had managed to get Rose out of the place without hurting anyone, moving inhumanly fast or yelling anymore profanities. It was then that I realized the second part of the boys' plan, and why they sped out of the parking lot the way they did earlier. It was still light out enough that running would be too obvious, and there was no car here for us. Hell, I didn't even know where here was! As usual for this area, it had started drizzling earlier in the day, and now we were in the middle of a full scale downpour. Not that the rain bothered us, but Rose's dress was beyond ruined and she hated getting her makeup and hair wet when she got all dressed up for a night out. It was not possible for things to get worse.

And then the rain stopped abruptly and the sun threatened to peak out. My phone vibrated in my pocket; thank God I had that, I thought it was still in the limo. A text from Alice…hmm, let's see what the conspiring pixie has to say.

_Sorry about the sun. No where to hide but in CEC. Js be there in 15 to pick up. Remember this next time you decide to dye my laundry._

Oops, yeah I guess she had a bone to pick with me too. But turning all of her clothes neon green the night before the first day of school was priceless! It took her 6 months to get people to stop asking her where her pot o'gold was! I am getting pretty good at these split second decisions; I'll have to continue practicing when I exact my revenge for this little stunt. Damn, 15 more minutes of torture, and nowhere to hide except the hell hole we just escaped.

"Um, Rose, sweetie, baby? Apparently we are stuck here for 15 more minutes and the only safe place is back inside. I don't know what to say, except that I'm an idiot and I'll never trust those morons again." I still hadn't found the right way to apologize to Rose; it was best to just be truthful once she figured out I had done something bad and accept whatever punishment she deemed appropriate.

"Fine. 20 years. No sex. Let's go, the sun's about to come out." Yikes, I was in some deep shit! Usually the first sentence was the beginning of the negotiations, but we'd never started out with this length of time before. I better give her a few minutes to cool down.

We walked back into the madhouse, and I silenced the host (obviously that was a much better description of his job than Maitre d') with a look. Rose walked over to an empty table and sat down with disdain, staring at the ceiling trying to pretend she wasn't even there. I figured I had nothing left to lose, so I picked up some tokens and started playing the games.

I must have nailed my jump shot about 20 times in a row when I noticed that I had a crowd of 5 year olds standing around me cheering me on. When I looked around, I noticed that Rose was casually glancing over, trying not to let me see her watching. I get a kick out of little kids, and we don't get to see them that often unless we go to La Push to see the wolves and their families, so I decided to make the most of my time. Every kid got a turn on my shoulders, and they all made every shot! We divided up all the tickets that I had won and then all the kids got matching fake tattoos which they proceeded to immediately put all over themselves. I got a little teddy bear with my portion of the winnings and sent it over to Rose with the cutest of the 5 year olds, trying to get her to go easy on me.

"Miss Wose, will you pwease give Mister Emmett a break? He was only twying to give you a special a anivewsewy night and the stupid," he looked back at me confused. I held up my hand in the sign of a J and he nodded and continued. "The stupid J boys twicked him! He said to tell you that he picked out your neckwace specially for you and also this bear. Please Miss Wose, he's awful nice!"

Rose took the bear the little boy offered to her, and tousled his hair as she broke into a sweet smile. "What's your name?"

"Peter." He stuck his hand out to shake hers; that kid was a charmer for sure. She reached out and shook his hand.

"Well, Peter, thank you for bringing me the message and the bear. I think I will name him Peter, just like you! And you can tell Mister Emmett that I know it wasn't totally his fault and that he really was trying to do something nice and maybe I'll go easy on him but that he is still going to have to pay. Well, maybe I'll tell him that myself. Why don't you go on and play with your friends in the bouncy hut?" She smiled at him again, and then pointed to where the rest of the kids had gone after the mass tattooing.

I took that as my cue and sat down beside her, wrapping my arm around her shoulders. "I'm so sorry Rose. I know you are always telling me that my pranks will catch up with me. But I'm glad you can see that my heart was in the right place here. One day we'll look back at this and laugh, you'll see." I was going to get out of this easy, a few days tops! She was already rubbing her hand down my leg; my sexiness is irresistible!

"I'm sure we will, but that day is still in the distant future. How much longer until those imbeciles get back here with the car?" I could tell from her darkening eyes that she wasn't concerned about getting home, she just wanted the privacy of the back seat.

"About 5 more minutes. And to be fair about this whole thing, your dares are some of the things they are getting me back for, so you are also partly to blame for this mess, ha!" She's really going to think that's funny, both of us getting ourselves caught up in this disastrous night…oh no. She did NOT think that was funny. Not one bit.

"You had your punishment down to 5 minutes, but now, you are back up to 10 years for blaming me!" She looked pretty serious about that, so I didn't bother trying to argue.

That was a LONG 10 years!

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_**A/N: Thanks to all my faithful readers and reviewers. You guys rock my world :) Not sure which one I'm going to do next, the crazy TV guy, the car crashing dare, or the Jake/Nessie lemon…let me know what you guys want – or if you even want it at all!**_


	3. The great cape incident of 2015

_**DISCLAIMER: my plot, SM's characters and backstory…sadly…**_

_**A/N: This is the story of "the great cape incident of 2015" as referenced in Chapter 9 of Black Friday Alice Cullen Style. Obviously, post Breaking Dawn, Alice and Bella POVs.**_

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The great cape incident of 2015**

**Alice POV**

I was so excited, it was Nessie's first Prom and we were finally going dress shopping. I had been planning this for years, but wanted to wait until this year to find the perfect dress of the latest style. Luckily, she was much more into fashion than her mother, so she was actually excited about the prospect of shopping for a new dress. The only reason Bella was even going was because Nessie was; normally she just made me pick something out for her while I went by myself.

I was driving, with Nessie sitting in the front seat anxious to get to the shopping and Bella glumly sulking in the back. Rose already had her dress, and didn't care to spend time with grumpy Bella, so she went hunting with the boys.

"Uh, Alice, isn't the mall the other direction?" Bella spoke up from the backseat as I turned onto the highway.

"Silly Bella, we aren't going to be able to find Nessie's first prom dress at some backwater mall store. This is the way to the airport. I thought it was obvious that we would be going to Milan." For my best friend, Bella didn't really know me that well sometimes. I shook my head; shopping at the mall! She is crazy!

"MILAN! As in ITALY! Are you CRAZY?? Turn this car around RIGHT NOW!" Bella looked pretty angry in the backseat, but my vision of the three of us strolling through the fashion district in Milan was still rock solid. I couldn't always see Nessie, but I was getting better over time. So when visions with her were so clear, I knew there was no doubt that they'd come true. I sped up; I didn't want to miss our flight.

"Calm down Bella, we are going to have a great time, I've seen it." I tapped my head to remind her.

"Yeah, please Mom? I want to have a cutting edge dress, this is important to me." Nessie reached back and rested her hand on Bella's, undoubtedly showing her how happy she'd be in a super fancy designer dress on the day of the prom.

Bella slumped back in her seat, giving in to our plans. "Fine, but I'm not going in some sort of couture costume. Not after that bridesmaids dress you made me wear for your last wedding Alice." She crossed her arms and looked out the window for the rest of the ride.

I thought briefly about the dress she was referring to; perhaps it had been a little over the top. A few too many feathers and beads for the small town wedding we were trying to pull off. Sure, Bella and Rose looked amazing, but not everyone there could appreciate the whole look. "Okay, no couture. But that doesn't count out new styles, just as long as they are available in regular shops, right?"

"Yes, as long as it is available for normal people to buy, I will consider it."

We had arrived at the airport; I parked in the short-term lot since we would be returning that evening. We walked quickly toward the international terminal after I pulled out three empty carryon suitcases from the trunk and passed them out, along with passports and tickets.

"You always come prepared, don't you Alice?" Nessie was still amazed when I managed to have the perfect thing for a situation available exactly when needed. After all the years with the rest of my family taking it for granted, it was nice to impress someone for a change.

"Well, we could have bought suitcases over there, but I saw how much your mom would have protested to the wasteful spending, so I figured we might as well be prepared." I sighed lightly; I had really been looking forward to new luggage. Now I was going to have to talk Jasper into taking a trip with me somewhere so I could have another excuse.

"Pardon me for trying to teach my daughter the value of a dollar. With the way we spend money in this family, she is never going to learn to be fiscally responsible. You can't know what situations will happen in the future where that will be important for her. Plus, that kind of stuff just makes her look like a spoiled rich kid to the rest of the students at school and I don't want to put her through that right away. It is inevitable in the long run with our family, but I truly want us to make an effort for her first trip through high school." Bella glared at me, repeating back the argument that I've heard countless times.

Nessie took my hand, and showed me how happy she was just spending time with the two of us. "I agree with Mom, Alice. I mean, I don't actually think I'm in danger of becoming irresponsible, but the perception is something I could deal without if possible this time around. Thanks for understanding." She also showed me girls in school whispering to each other when she walked in the first day decked out in designer clothes with a Hermes backpack. Oh, that explained why she wanted a new backpack; I thought it was awfully silly of her to worry about it getting ruined, she should have known I would have bought her another.

"You should have told me Ness. You know I can't see your future very clearly, I had no idea what was going on. Are you sure you don't just want to go to Macy's and pick something up from the sale rack?" I looked up at her and fluttered my lashes; I knew she wouldn't make me do that, but I wanted her to know that her happiness was truly all that mattered.

"Silly Alice, I don't really care anymore! That was two years ago, and we all know those girls are jealous skanks anyway. Everyday school is one thing, prom is a whole different story; I want the best damn dress there is for this thing. I want Jake to be proud to have me on his arm." She grabbed me with one hand and Bella with the other, still holding her suitcase and dragged us to the terminal.

Bella growled lightly at the mention of Jake. "He better be proud of you no matter what you're wearing."

"Mom! Honestly, you guys need to get over this. I think Dad is handling it better than you at this point. Are you jealous or something?" Nessie was showing us both her memories of when the family explained to her Bella and Jake's relationship prior to her birth. I giggled, having seen exactly how this would play out. Bella didn't take it quite as well. She ripped her hand out of Nessie's grasp and stood absolutely still, staring her daughter down.

"Renesmee Carlie Cullen. Did you just imply that I was jealous of Jake's relationship with you? Because that sounds an awful lot like 'no Mom, I don't want to get a fancy dress in Italy for the Prom, in fact, I don't want to go to the Prom at all' to me. It also sounds very similar to 'yes Mom, eating only human food for a year would be a wonderful experience for me.' Did I hear you correctly young lady?" If looks could kill, Nessie would have been a smoldering pile of ashes at that point. I slowly dropped her hand and backed away, letting the mother/daughter bonding moment continue without interruption. It would be much more entertaining this way.

Nessie started backing up herself, having rarely incurred Bella's wrath in this way. Lucky for her, she though quickly on her feet, a talent that she was blessed with from her father. "N-no Mom, I was just joking! Chillax! Of course I know that isn't true. I know you are just protective of me, no matter who my boyfriend is. I just get frustrated sometimes because most girls don't have to deal with so much baggage when it comes to their parents accepting their boyfriends; and most boyfriends aren't as deeply and unconditionally committed and as capable of protecting as Jake is in the first place!"

Bella pulled Nessie into a tight hug, stroking her hair lightly. "I know sweetie, it is a lot to deal with. We are doing the best we can, but it is tough. I'm glad you can understand the uniqueness of the situation, and I'm sorry that you have to go through all this. In a few more years all of this awkwardness will just be funny memories for us to rehash at parties. Now, just because you don't have to eat it as punishment for a year doesn't mean you can't eat any human food. I know how much you love those giant cupcakes at the coffee shop in the International terminal. Let's go get one of those before we board the plane."

I walked back over and gave Nessie a quick hug. Bella had let her go to grab the suitcases and was leading our small parade through the crowds to the security line. Nessie showed me her whole plan as we made our way to the First Class line, and I couldn't help but chuckle as the images flashed past me.

_Nessie getting Bella to feel guilty, using the previous conversation to really drive the sentiment home._

_Nessie and I talking Bella into getting a more unique dress than she felt comfortable with, promising we'd also wear dresses of a similar fashion._

_Nessie and I conveniently finding ways to NOT wear the unusual accessory at the last minute, but forcing Bella to._

_Bella being the center of attention at the Prom with her designer dress, decidedly not happy with the two of us._

Really, we let Nessie spend much too much time with Emmett. At least it appeared that the outcome was simply that all the girls were jealous over the trendiness of Bella's dress, not that she looked ridiculous. However, she hated being the center of attention for any reason. I checked the future and saw it all happening just how Nessie had it planned; it looked as though I was going to have to give in to some of Bella's fashion demands to make amends for this. It was totally going to be worth it when it was all over with!

We made it through security without any problems and soon enough we were in the air, headed toward Milan. I was bouncing in my seat with excitement; I couldn't wait to start trying on dresses!

**

* * *

BPOV**

Honestly, the things I put myself through for Alice and Nessie. I love them both dearly, but I truly detest shopping. And flying across the Atlantic Ocean for specialty shopping is possibly the worst thing I can think of to do, aside from visiting the Volturi – although that might be a toss up. Thank goodness I am fluent in Italian now; at least I won't let Alice talk me into something ridiculous because she is stretching the truth in her translation.

We got off the plane and made our way to the car Alice had waiting for us; obviously, she had this well planned. The two of them were chatting about colors and fabrics as we made our way through the city streets. I tuned them out and thought some more about the discussion Nessie and I had in the airport. Edward and I often talked about the challenges that Nessie had to face compared with a mortal child; I wished that there was a way for her to experience a normal life on occasion. Surely flying to Italy to pick out a prom dress was far from normal, but if she had to endure all the negatives of our lifestyle, she might as well be allowed to enjoy the positives. I decided to fully engage in the shopping trip and make sure she had a wonderful time planning for her first prom.

"So, what colors do you have in mind Ness? I know Jake always loves when you wear pink – although I'm not sure why. I always think blue complements your complexion the best."

"He finds it ironic when I wear pink, he loves the idea of me wearing something so feminine since I am so NOT feminine in so many other ways. I think I will look for something pink and frilly, as long as it doesn't look too wrong on me." I carefully scrutinized my daughter, taking in her physical traits: taller than most women, stronger than virtually anyone besides our family members, confidence radiating from her in everything she does. Even the grace with which she walked was laced with power, giving the impression of an elite athlete as opposed to the runway model that Rosalie always reminded me of.

"I can definitely see the irony there. If pink and frilly is what you want, pink and frilly is what you will get. Come on Alice, lead us to the pink and frilly store!" I jumped out of the car as it pulled over to the side of the road, presumably at our first destination. While I was still unenthusiastic about finding a dress myself, I was beginning to become excited about helping my daughter find her perfect dress.

"I know just where to go, of course. It is just up this alley, it won't take very long to get there. I think we'll find everything we need there." Alice shared a knowing look with Nessie; I must have missed something when I was tuned out during the ride here. I better make sure Alice is going to be buying Nessie some kind of fancy lingerie for underneath the dress; I don't think Edward will be able to handle that just yet.

We weaved in and out of the other pedestrians and their umbrellas; of course, it was raining off and on all day, so we were safe from the sun. When we rounded the corner as we exited the alley, the first thing I noticed was a window full of mannequins wearing brilliantly shimmering capes. I giggled as they reminded me of a row of vampires, lined up and sparkling in the sun; exactly what we would have looked like if the sun had decided to grace us with its presence in that moment. "You know, if we had capes like this, we could almost blend in if we got caught in the sun, at least for a moment or two." I was still pondering the possibilities when Alice dragged me into the store.

"That's probably true. And they have every color possible; maybe we can each get one to match our dresses!" My supposedly mature daughter was jumping up and down and clapping her hands at the thought. Alice grabbed her and dragged her over toward the backof the store.

"Calm down Nessie! There is plenty of time to find our matching accessories. First, you need a dress. Now, you just go into the dressing room and your mother and I will bring in everything we can find we think you'll like. Bella, you get the dresses you think will look good on her, try and find some pink and frilly ones too. I'll focus on what my visions show and the more unusual options for all three of us." Alice was pointing in all directions and talking so fast that I could barely understand her. Instantly, three salespeople were following us, juggling all the dresses that Alice was tossing to them. After about 5 minutes, I noticed a trend in her tosses and realized each person's pile represented potential dresses for one of us. So I started adding to their piles for Nessie and me. I didn't even bother wasting time on Alice, she would certainly be able to find her perfect dress all on her own. After 10 more minutes, Alice led our makeshift parade into the dressing room, where we found Nessie relaxing in a cushy robe, sipping on some champagne.

"Champagne? Just make sure you'll be fine for the flight home." Nessie knew her limits, thanks to Emmett's experimentations on the rare occasions we allowed him to babysit.

"Thanks mom. I'll be fine, don't worry. Now, let's get this fashion show on the road!" She grabbed a couple of dresses from her pile and slid into her dressing room. Alice and I followed along and soon we began to draw quite a crowd of both customers and salespeople as we strutted our stuff through the dressing area with each new dress we tried on.

Several hours and hundreds of laughs later, we had each picked out our favorite dresses. Alice had decreed that we didn't need to even bother looking at any other stores, so we spent all of our time at Valentino. Of course, even I knew we could simply have gone to Nordstom's to find Valentino in the States, but Alice quickly explained just how wrong I was.

"Sure, we could have done that if we wanted styles from 3 years ago and the same dress as every other high school girl. But Nessie deserves the latest trends, like these capes. Do you think we could have found such a selection in Nordstrom's? We would have been lucky to find one or two." She did have a point. With the selection available in Italy, we were each able to find a cape that matched our dress; although my dress was part of the original cape collection, so it was part of the overall dress design to begin with.

"That's right Aunt Alice. And now we can all match! Do you know what color Aunt Rose's dress is, can we get one for her too?" In that moment, Nessie seemed like the little girl she never really had a chance to be, eager to have something in common with her older family members. I was initially a little hesitant at the whole cape idea, but she seemed so set on all of us matching, I couldn't bear to say no. And since it was part of my dress, it wasn't as obvious, so I wasn't worried about people noticing it as much as they would if it was a stand along accessory.

"Rose's dress is candy apple red, as usual, and I already picked up her cape. Let's go pay for everything and head back to the airport. We only have about an hour to make our flight." Alice motioned to the stack of clothes that the salesperson was carrying toward the counter when she talked about Rose's cape, indicating that it was somewhere in the pile. We followed her, and kept our distance so we had plausible deniability when it came to the total bill; I had no desire to know how much this little expedition cost us, even if we did bring our own luggage.

"Let's help pack the suitcases sweetie. That way we can make sure we have as much time to get to the airport as possible. We can obviously stay here tonight if we need to, but I seem to recall you having a date, right?" Nessie and I moved to the side of the counter, carefully stacking the dresses, shoes, jewelry and capes into the suitcases as Alice paid, all three of us finishing up at the same time. We each took a suitcase and quickly exited the store, walking back down the alley to where the car had dropped us off. As we hit the sidewalk, the car smoothly pulled in to a stop, in the exact place it had dropped us off. I shot Alice a questioning look, and she waved her cell phone. Of course, I must have missed when she called the driver to let him know we were ready to be picked up.

We made it to the airport with 20 minutes to spare, and made it home in plenty of time for Nessie to get ready for her evening with Jacob. If she hadn't slept on the plane, I would have balked at her spending more time out after such a long day, but an 8 hour nap on the plane was plenty of sleep for her. All in all we had been gone for an entire day, but to Alice and I it didn't much matter. Our husbands were out hunting for the weekend anyway, so they got home at roughly the same time we did. When their car pulled into the driveway shortly after we finished unpacking, I complimented my sister on her planning skills.

"Alice, you really do have a knack for planning. I wasn't too excited about this whole Italy trip, but it was a wonderful way to pass the time while the boys were away hunting. Thank you for taking us on such a wonderful trip. I think I might actually enjoy the prom this time around."

"Thanks Bella! I'm glad you had a good time, I just knew you would if you had an open mind. And I think that this is going to be one of the best proms ever!"

* * *

**BPOV (at the Prom)**

"That damn pixie!! She had to have seen this coming, and just stood by and let it all happen. And I have a nagging feeling that my darling daughter has something to do with this as well." I was furious, and currently hiding in the music room at the high school with Edward trying unsuccessfully to calm me down.

"Bella, love, this isn't as bad as it seems. So, you just happened to pick THE hottest dress in the fashion world right now. The way I saw it, you were the one that brought up the capes in the first place." Did I mention he was unsuccessful in trying to calm me down?

"Just whose side are you on? You know better than I do that it was all a set up. I'm sure there is much more to this story than I have figured out yet. But I will figure it out, and you WILL tell me what you know. If you don't, consider yourself part of the punished." He should know better; it was rare that I got this angry, but when I did there was no reasoning with me. Alice must have figured it was worth whatever punishment I will inevitably dole out, so she made her decision with eyes wide open. Nessie, on the other hand, is still young and has too many bad influences around her between Alice, Emmett and Jacob. I'll probably cut her a little slack, but not right now.

"Calm down honey. You heard the photographer, it wasn't more than an hour ago that the Central High prom committee called to cancel and they had to go to the second school on the list. Alice couldn't have known that they would be featuring a photo spread of our Prom in Cosmopolitan magazine and that they would pick you for the cover. She probably just wanted to see all the girls drooling over the dress. Don't be too hard on her. Why don't you demand a reprieve from her shopping dictatorship for a year or something like that? She's feeling really guilty, I'm sure she'll go for it."

"Well, now, that is a good idea. She's never let me off the hook on shopping for very long, but I could use this to my advantage. And the photographer did say I could have editorial input on which picture they use, so at least I can kind of control what gets out there. At least it wasn't Nessie, that definitely would have been worse!" I was starting to see the upside to this ridiculous situation. I really should have gone with my instincts and fled the scene the minute the other girls at the dance flocked to me oohing and aahing over my dress. I was just so reluctanct to miss such an important rite of passage for Nessie, so I stuck it out and tried to ignore all the excited chattering around me. By the time the photographer came in, it was too late to leave. How I, the most fashion challenged in the family, had managed to single handedly pick out the most popular "it" dress of the season, I'll never know. And I can't blame it on Alice or Nessie, because the minute I saw the dress in the shop, I knew it was the one for me. They didn't even have to try and persuade me to buy it. I tried on others just for fun, but I knew immediately that this would be the one.

"Let's go talk to Alice and give her your punishment offer." Edward took me by the hand and led me to where most of our family had gathered outside of the gym.

"Okay Alice, I have an offer for forgiveness. I'll forget this ridiculous evening happened if you don't take me shopping for a whole year, AND I get to pick out my own prom dress next year, by myself and you let me wear it no matter what. How does that sound?" I gave Alice a very serious look as I laid the offer on the table. Everyone around us watched anxiously; it seemed such a silly thing, but these types of negotiations had been known to take hours.

Emmett was walking up the hallway toward us, and had almost reached us when Alice blurted out her answer. "It's a deal. I'll take it. Let's shake on it to make it official." She stuck out her hand, and I was reaching for it when Emmett interrupted us.

"Hey guys, what's going on? I just got back from Central High, man was that place a mess after the 'accident' with the water pipes. Alice, what did they ever do to you that made you want to ruin their prom decorations?" I yanked my hand back from Alice and leveled her with a glare. She glanced around helplessly, as I weighed my options for revenge. She visibly cringed when I briefly decided on having a bonfire using all her luggage and all the couture dresses she'd collected over the years. Finally, I smiled at her and announced my sentence. "Ten years, no shopping. Take it or leave it, and I think you know your other choice." I casually held my hand out to her.

"Absolutely take it! 10 years it is. Thank you Bella for being so understanding. I'm, uh, going to go back to the dance now. C'mon Jasper, they're playing our song." She grabbed my hand in a brief shake and then she and Jasper disappeared into the crowd. Nessie grabbed Jake's hand and tried to follow, but I cut them off first.

"Not so fast young lady. Don't think you are getting off that easy. I'm still thinking about your punishment, but I wouldn't plan on any hunting trips anytime soon, if you catch my drift. But enjoy the rest of your night, we'll talk about it tomorrow." I gave her a quick hug and sent her back to the dance floor.

"Let's go and show them how it's done, shall we love?" I pulled Edward out to the dance floor and let the rest of the room melt away.

_**

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A/N: Thanks to all my faithful readers and reviewers. You guys rock my world :) check out the poll on my profile to pick the next tale I do for this story – or just put it in your review or PM me. I already have a few votes for Edward's car getting painted, so that may be next!**_


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